Day 1 ‘I
have a Stammer Badge’
.JPG)
So I
have decided to get a badge made saying ‘I have a Stammer’ and wear it for a
full week. The idea behind this is to see how I feel knowing that everyone I
speak to would know straight away, before I open my mouth that I have a stammer. I thought it would be an amazing chance
to not have to hide behind my techniques and various fillers that I have
adopted over the years, an opportunity to be the real me, stutters and all. To
quote Gaga ‘I was born this way’ so let’s embrace the voice I was born with and
show people how to stammer beautifully.
So
today is the day the badge NEEDS to be worn for a full 7days (panic hits) ‘truth
be told’ I’m not so keen on the idea anymore. When it came in the post I was so
excited but the thought of actually wearing it in public is now a whole different story. The reason being,
I guess I usually try and hide my stammer from everyone. I see it as a fault, a
burden if you will. Why would I want to show people my imperfections? The idea
of literally wearing a sign stating this is a daunting prospect.
To be honest with you my initial fears are that people will
avoid speaking to me as I think they won’t want to speak to a stammer as it
could be awkward if I block or stutter. Or that it could be embarrassing for them as they aren’t used to
the situation. I’m worried people might laugh or will speak to me in a patronising
way. But above all I’m anxious that I will be judged and not given the time of
day. People just don’t seem to have the time for anyone and if they start speaking
to me they could be there all day. I’m anxious I will try and avoid situations
like going to the bank, drinks out with friends and using public transport as
these are the situations were my speech can be at its worse. As you can see all these connotations with me
wearing the badge are negative and I guess that’s just how I have built up a
wall of negatively in relation to my speech. I need to give the public the benefit
of the doubt and have some confidence in them. Yes I will come across a few
inconsiderate people but I need to focus on the positive souls I’m going to
meet and be in conversation with. I need to have some faith in people. All in
all the proof will be in the pudding.
I will update throughout the week to let you know how I’m
getting on, wish me luck!!
Nice one Carl sounds like a great idea.
ReplyDeleteHope it all goes well. Although I'm pretty sure it will!
All the best
Frank in York
Hi
ReplyDeletewish I had your guts to do this, I am the same as you,i have hidden my stammer for 40 years and now have decided to do something about it, I went to Edinburgh not long since and yes stammer worse on public transport. i did not know where I needed to get off the bus, would not ask so needless to say got off at the wrong stop, and got lost, all for the sake off asking.good luck, will look forward to finding out how you got on.