Day 2, Wearing the Badge 

So day 2 was a pretty good day all in all. So much happened I just decided to pick out the more interesting points to put on here as I don’t want to bore you all with my entire routine everyday that can wait for my debut on ‘Made in Chelsea.’ Jokes.

On Tuesday I go to my speech therapy group in Leeds at the Reginald Centre.  The group is targeted towards adults who stammer, I adore going as it’s something I look forward to every week. And the friends and therapist I have met there are amazing, it’s such a fantastic opportunity.

Anyway back to the task in hand, one thing I have noticed about wearing this badge is it is getting me a lot of attention in the way of looks and lingering stares. I kept catching people looking at the badge and then my face and then the badge again, and when I made eye contact with them they quickly looked away and pretended they were busy doing something else.   

I had to go and buy a train ticket from York to Leeds for my group session. Usually I would buy them online or at the automated machines on the platform in order to avoid direct conversation with anyone. But today was different, today I decided to grow a pair and buy them from the ticket sales staff, after all it is their job. They lady behind the counter couldn’t stop staring at the badge; her eyes were locked on it along with the screen of her computer. She didn’t glance up at me once, no eye contact at all. To make things worse she spoke to me in such a patronising way as if I was a child or someone from overseas. I mean I know I wear a lot of fake tan but come on; my English is pretty good after all it is my first language. Tad rude I thought so I decided to over compliment her by saying ‘thank you ever so much for your help today, you have been a shining star, have a magical day won’t you.’ Over the top I agree but I couldn’t help myself, she soon raised her eyes to my level and I was presented with a glimpse of a smile.

I guess this kind of exposure makes me feel extremely fortunate that the stammer isn’t such a permanent external factor like a disfigurement or illness. I can’t begin to imagine what a person in that situation would go through on a daily basis but I guess with the massive sign stating my imperfections it is giving me a pretty good insight.

Walking through Leeds at rush hour was an interesting experience; I got a few finger points and laughs off a group of chav’s. They screeched ‘Do you know Ggggareth Ggggates’ at me a few times. But I was to absorbed in my tuna wrap to care. I would actually love to meet him one day and talk about stammering and our experiences with dealing with it. As for the chav’s I have more important things to worry about then a group of shell suits giving me lip.

Overall, I’m enjoying wearing the badge, I thought I would try and hide it or cover it up in public but that isn’t the case. I feel like a proud peacock pushing out my chest to show it off. Defo a turn up for the books, although we will see if this positive attitude continues tomorrow...